open grave

pencil on canvas

90cm x 65cm

inspired by:

Romans 3:10-18: “There is none righteous, no, not one:
There is none that understandeth,
There is none that seeketh after God.
They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable;
There is none that doeth good, no, not one.
Their throat is an open sepulchre;
With their tongues they have used deceit;
The poison of asps is under their lips:
Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness:
Their feet are swift to shed blood:
Destruction and misery are in their ways:
And the way of peace have they not known:
There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

text:

i am created from dirt. from soil and dust. i am buried in dirt. in soil and dust. it fills my throat. it burns.

i hover in the aether. i am a ghost of the man i was. haunted by the sunday morning shame that bleeds into every hour of the day, this heinous wrath that is preached out of me. i repent for the shape of my bones, for the colour of my blood, for how my eyes do not see. for the dirt soil dust that chokes me. where do i place all of this? there is no space in my chest for my grief, no room in my skull for my rage.

you say i am filthy. you say i am hideous. you say i am monstrous and demented.

then i curse the shape of your hands.

you liar. you liar. you liar. you liar. you liar.